Why Music Matters so Much..

okay to start off with..just to let u peeps noe..no i DONT play any instruments but i sing most of the time..simply because i love music..songs..some how theres is an inncer serenity in all the songs i hear..it REALI effects me emotionally no matter wut song i listen to..

Seriously without music..i coulda been dead long time ago coz it makes me feel suicidal when im emoing..i noe its a bit of a drama queen to tell u that im emotionally disturbed at one point of my life..its somewhere between mid year till the end of 2005..yeah was 17 back then and i am effected easily by everyday's on goings and let me tell u..things werent looking up in 2005 and at that time im not that sorta person that likes showing my anger..i noe in rao's (wow good memories) everybody noes TIU as the guy who can simply rock a place up with my witty humor and sick perverted jokes..but the truth is when i reach home and before i sleep i stone for like hours thinking..what am i doing here?wuts the point of living?is there any goals in my life?wut abt my destiny?or destiny is just a word ppl make up to feel better for themsleves?..i mean millions of questions come to my mind..and i cant seem to find a strong supportive answers for all of those fuked up questions..

whenever all this happened..my songs in my computer comes to my rescue..whenever i feel sad i juz listen to sad songs to let out my feelings thru the lyrics i sing along to..if i didnt do that..i think it would like keep accumulating in my feelings and at one point i will juz explode like a time bomb..for an example.. Marilyn Manson's song made me unleash alot of my feelings of hate and misery..songs like suicide is painless,tainted love,antichrist superstar,beautiful people..esp beautiful people..coz at that time self-confidence is reali down in da dumps coz im fat(and still is but not that fat now)..it reali makes me feel so bad abt my impression towards people i meet evryday..so is beauty something that is made up from the community and makes us SEE things that the media wanted us to see?..and y discriminate the less appealing?..we ARE humans too and no matter how fat the thighs are or how skinny the hands are..the most important organ remains the same..im talking abt the heart..all of us wants to feel accepted..so why reject people?..how would u feel if u were in that sad being's position?

staind..OMG!!..songs like outside and so far away makes me scream along to the songs..heres the lyrics from Outside - Staind :

Cause I'm on the outside,
And I'm Looking in,
I can see thru you; see your thru colors,
Cos' inside you're ugly;you're ugly like me,
I can see thru u,
See thru the real you.

yeah i noe its emoing coz of the lyrics..but hey what can i say?troubled child who refuses to open up to his friends..this is wut u do..listen to songs and scream..again..its reali about the rejection i feel inside because of my lack of self-confidence..though other people already accepted me,i still feel rejected coz of my self confidence like im not good enuf for this,not good enuf for that..and rejection comes as a knockout blow when the girl u have a crush on avoids u..tell me how that feel buoys :p..like crap yeah!!..

But things changed later as i matured berkadar terus with my age and sooner i became the person i am today..FUK HOW THEY SEE ME..IM HAPPY WIHT MY SELF SO FUK OFF!!..hahahha and then yeah..im able to open up myself to people finally..thx to jo,adrian,ws,kj,kimhan,michie,su,wc,syazzy a whole lot more~!

college days were the time im opened up to reggae..i use to hang out with indah villa!!..woohoo yeah!!!tell u guys abt it that place is like 2nd home coz of the people inside da house..ali ateye,kelly,giorgi,lasha,amen,mobi,naseem,shakir..okay so i was messing around with ali's laptop and opened up this song called red red wine by UB40..man im hooked to that song for like a few days..then i downloaded songs from the legend himself..BOB MARLEY..man his songs..if his songs and lyrics are injected in people's vein..no need for guns,no need for wars,no need for discriminations,no need for all the crime that we have today..his words are too beautiful and makes me so happy whenever i listen to his songs..now im not being disrespectful or whatsoever..im not an african-american(black) so im in no position to tell u ive faced discrimination as badly as u guys did..but i feel rejected remember~~..this songs made me feel so carefree about the outside world where we are made to believe in things that are beautiful when we are supposed to..here's a list of fav bob's songs and description of wut i think abt the song:

Don't worry Be happy: man this song is all about living the life with no hustle and bustle..chilling!
No Woman Nuh Cry: The beauty of brotherhood and sisterhood
Is this Love: one song ill definitely sing to my bee coz its about unconditional love
One Love: im a big fan of world peace,so yeah
3 Little Birds: *refer to Dont worry Be happy*
Get Up Stand Up: yeap,stand up for ur right and dont be afraid to voice out ur disatisfaction
Jammin: i dunno..somehow it reminds of getting high..wtf am i talking abt..marley's songs are suppose to make u feel that way =P..


so i mentioned how i DONT play instruments..but when it comes to guitar solos,its the part i throw my head around like cowboy lasso-ing..slash of guns n roses being one of my fav guitar players..with his frizzy hair and top hat and cigratte..he reali looks like a walking legend..his signature 'guitar stand' pose when it comes to his solo performances act..man it reali rocked me up..and led zeppelin's stairway to heaven is my ALL-TIME favourite song..it makes me feel spiritual(dont ask me why) coz of the songs..and the solo part juz adds the kick to whole song..and Seether feat. Amy Lee is a song i would like to listen and sing along to most of the time coz the lyrics is as beautiful as Amy's voice..and its about how a guy would sacrifice for his loved one and how broken the pair is without each other's presence..btw the song name is Broken..makes u wonder why such an emo title for such a beautiful song huh?~

anyways..i noe theres alot more songs that i did not mention in this post..but if i had to write abt all the songs who made a change in me..i love my fingers to much to type them all down now hahaha..and im going off to bed yeah..approaching 4am now and im sleepy!!

cheeers yo..keep the music going and there shall be salvation to our broken feelings!